As a child, I counted the days until my birthday almost all year long. "How old are you?" "6 and a HALF!" I could hardly wait. As I got older, the anticipation and the joy faded. Birthdays are just, eh, birthdays...
This morning I woke up on the first day of my 39th year. Big deal. I decided to forego the gym for a walk ALONE. I didn't want to deal with the uncomfortable, awkward birthday attention - the songs, the hugs...its just too much. Too forced.
Rounding a corner, the sun cresting over Mt. Olympus and warming my shoulders, I caught a glimpse of the most amazing flowers and an instrumental song simultaneously played in my ears. I was suddenly overcome by an almost indescribable feeling. It felt as if I were being bathed in the Spirit. The peace, the joy, the warmth...it was overwhelming. Tears flooded my eyes and spilled over onto my cheeks. Visions of my life flashed before my mind's eye...being born, riding a bike, twirling in circles, learning to drive a car, going to prom, graduating from high school and college, getting married, divorced, remarried, and giving birth to my beautiful boys. It was all so clear and so perfect - ALL of it! The good times and the bad. I was overwhelmed with gratitude for this beautiful life that is mine. I am so grateful for a loving Heavenly Father that blessed me with the privilege of coming to earth. I am so grateful to have been born! I am so grateful to be alive! I am grateful for my life. Turns out birthdays really ARE a big deal and something to celebrate.
MEMORY LANE...
Baby Niki
2nd time is the charm! Love this man.
So blessed to have such awesome role models!
Twirly Whirly Girl
Happy baby.
Birthday Girl!
9th birthday - also my favorite sister's wedding day.
"Jr. Cheerleader" with big sister at RHS.
My biggest blessings...
"I got a dog for my husband...it was a good trade." (After my practice marriage.)
My main squeeze.
Happy, authentic, shameless me...
With Sissy.
Always dreamed of being a mother.
HAPPY!
Silly.
Playin it "cool."
Lifelong friends.
Milestones...
Achievements...
Finding myself...
REAL!
Present...
I'm so grateful to be where I am today. Grateful for every friendship, every sunrise/sunset, every vacation, every learning opportunity - even the hard ones, great music, Spirituality, Father in Heaven, the Savior, my parents and siblings, my home, my education, my husband and children, my extended family, my ancestors, freedom, America, love, affection, EVERY SINGLE THING I HAVE WOKEN UP TO EVERY DAY FOR THE PAST 39 YEARS...HERE IS TO MANY, MANY MORE!
3 comments:
Those pictures are so cute! Love your hair and the farmland backgrounds :) You deserve a great year, hope it's fabulous for you!
Welcome to the big 39th year of life Nik! I figure this was my year to get things in order before the big 40. :) Of course I think you have it all together but regardless enjoy my friend. I hit 40 in December. :)
I love this post. I have to say visiting with you the other day I did feel a sense of secure peace radiate from you. I respect your path and revel in your wisdom.
Love that you were born, and that you are one of the kindred spirits on the planet with me.
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