MY kids say the darndest things....

Here are a few classics from the past couple of years...ENJOY!

• TJ:  “No!  I don’t wanna read the scriptures.  I wanna read a GOOD book!”
• Parker:  “We have good news!  My mom finally produced a zygote!”  (Don't get too excited - this is old news...didn't turn out the way we wanted it too, but such is life.)
• P:  “It smells like the beach and I heard sirens outside, so I think a tsunami’s coming!”
• P: “Where’s the vegetation in this meal?”
• TJ:  “Aw MAN!  I hurt my tentacles.”  Mom:  “What’s that?”  TJ:  “My wiener!”
• T to P:  “Heads I win, tails you lose!”  P:  “That means I lose either way!”
• T – “Praise to the man who communed with Jahobo.”
• Dad says to P, “I can’t wait until you’re old enough to get a job because you did really good putting carts away at the grocery store” (Dad took P to the grocery store to pick up stray carts because he didn’t want to do his homework because he was “bored”… Dad knows that work cures bordem).  P says, “Don’t talk about that… it makes me sick.”  Dad “What makes you sick?”  P: “Nevermind, if I say that I’m sick, you’ll take me to the hospital so that I can see what kids who are really sick look like.” 
• T had dry cheeks and we were trying to put some lotion on them.  P said to T: “T, if you don’t put lotion on your cheeks, you’re going to look like Omar at school… he let his cheeks get so dry they looked like fish filters (gills)!” 
• T:  “Do we have any Charles Chickens” books? (Charles Dickens)
• P was in trouble and made a sign that said, “There is a difference between a father’s love and a 32 year old man’s hatred.  I support Martin Luther King.”  I asked to take a picture of him and he said, “T come on.  Look sad.”
• T:  “I’m washing my pit-bulls mom!”  (nipples)
• P to Dad: “We need to get a bidet…. I’m tired of wearing my hands out."  Dad: "What P?  Where did you hear that?"  P:  "You know, the hotel in Canada.  We need a bidet… I’m tired of wiping my butt and wearing my hands out.” 
• P:  (to neighbor kids) “Don’t talk about my butt crack please!  That doesn’t make me feel grateful about myself.”
• TJ:  “What’s a tutor?  Does a tutor toot?”
• P:  “Never try, never fail!”
• P to T:  “Respect is a GIFT!  You have to EARN it!”
• Mom:  “Who’s that in my BED?”  T(referring to himself):  “A genious!”
• P, after seeing a kissy-faced middle-aged couple at General Conference: "Young love." (with a disgusted tone)
• I was feeling rather annoyed when P says, "Just imagine you're in a place full of gnomes and Rabbi's." Yes, that's MUCH better. Thanks buddy. ;)
• TJ, (helping cook dinner - rinsing the jello jiggler pan out):  “These things are so slippery one of them just jumped into my mouth while I was rinsing this out!”