I seem to unnecessarily busy myself WAY too much lately (lately...more like my entire life)and end up a tightly wound ball of stress. My new philosophy is going to be SIMPLIFY, SIMPLIFY, SIMPLIFY!!! I read 2 conference talks this morning. One was by Sister Beck and focused on women’s roles as mother and home maker. The first time I heard it I was EXTREMELY irritated. The last thing I wanted to hear was that I needed to keep a tidier house, cook a gourmet meal, dress my sons like missionaries and live like it’s the 1950’s. However, after talking with a couple of friends and family members I decided to read the talk (as opposed to listen with ONE ear during conference while doing several other mundane tasks) this morning and got a COMPLETELY different take on it. It was AWESOME! What I got was this…BEING A MOM IS ENOUGH!!! That is my JOB! So why do I always take on too much..? I.e. a preschool in my home consisting of 6 two year olds twice a week for 2 hours each day--because it’s ONLY 4 hours…right?! Forget the planning, prep and clean up, not to mention the SPENT NERVES twice a week! On top of THAT I decided to add a part time job at Pier 1 Imports…great, hey?! I’ll get out of the house twice a week (times 4 hours...that’s only EIGHT HOURS per week!). Wait…I have to clean TOILETS, MOP, ORGANIZE and unwrap boxes for 4 hours?! And also pay a sitter $7.00/hour when my husband is unavailable…I’m making $9.00/hour, subtract gas, subtract taxes and social security…equals, just about NOTHING but a whole lot more stress! So maybe I ought to add some FUN things in there…a BABY SHOWER for a friend, a HALLOWEEN party for the kids, and several crafts throughout the month: crazy cupcakes, cookies, mummy heads, pumpkin painting, neighborhood parade, pumpkin carving, you get the idea.
That led me to talk #2…Dallin Oakes talk: “Good, Better, Best”. I LOVED it! There are SO MANY good things in our lives that we fill our time up with them and don’t make time for the BEST! He tells a story about a friend that spent an entire summer vacationing and entertaining his children. At the end of the summer he asked his son what the highlight was. He said that it was a night he & his father had spent laying on the grass looking up at the stars. WOW! That hit too close to home! Maybe my time would be better spent reading to my children, or playing cars with them, or taking them to the park! Will it REALLY matter that we spent about 4 hours and $40 making cupcakes that we ended up flushing down the disposal or giving to the neighbors because I don’t need the extra calories?
So today, we played lego's and did puzzles for about 4 hours. I hope they enjoyed it as much as I did!
9 comments:
Excellent post. Those two talks have gotten a lot of discussion going around our house as well. The hard part now seems to be making sure we don't slip back into previous habits. We've been trying to K.I.S.S. since graduating 2.5 years ago and still can't seem to plan for the night under the starts rather than the big drive/trip.
Simplicity is everything!
You go girl! I'm off to read my conference talks.
i am just mad. i think my subscription to ensign ran out because every one is re-reading the talks, and i just need to go to deseret book.
now. my friend. isn't it crazy what we do... i know your intentions are good. trying to make it fun for the kids...halloween party's etc...and work, for you as in get out of the house..etc. you are just doing what a good mother does. and what a girl needs to do.
my husband always says... everything needs a balance. if i tire myself to the point where i am questioning why i do what i do, then i forget the reason for doing everything to begin with. and then i just drop to the floor and cry. or beat myself. so see. its a tough balance for me to. i am totally with you.
hang in there. you are a good mommy. i remember your daily afirmation post. i laugh... i am smart enough... hahaha. you are so great nikki!
i've got to believe that our loving heavenly father looks at us sometimes and really laughs (and sometimes crys) at what we put ourselves through... then again, when we realize it (and change), he can't help but smile like any proud father would. there's lot in your post that we all can learn from (and btw, I think that he's smiling at you!). ily.
Love it, love it, love it! I was just thinking about this exact same thing as I busied my girls out the door and left the pile of clothes and dirty dishes in the sink. Even though my girls are little, I too miss the days of being totally lazy in the morning and just "being there" with them. How easy it is to get caught up in all the running! Thanks for the lesson in SIMPLICITY. I miss it.
Niki, you are so great and always seem to say exactly what I need to hear. Let's all just simplify together.
I also was annoyed a little at that talk at first, because I thought, if I do all of that I wont have time to do less, but then I realized that it is more about not keeping yourself so busy that you miss out on all the little moments with your family. Easier said than done sometimes, but it also means appreciating the little moments even if your house is a disaster. I agree you do take on way too much! Relax! Love ya!
Hey Nik~
I am going to have to go read those talks. They sound great and probably just what I need at this point in my life. Balance is always hard to achieve. But that's what this life is for right!?! :) By the way I think your great and I think we are all striving to do our best and H.F. knows that more than anyone else and that's what matters! Have a great holdiay week. We are off on vacation~meeting up with the Crabtrees next Saturday. We should all get together again one of these days (after the holidays). :)
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